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The Caretaker

by Half Waif

supported by
Laura Fisher
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Laura Fisher Each new album is your peak. How many artists can say that after almost a decade? Thank you for this one, dear earth angel. Favorite track: Brace.
Alexander S. Kunz
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Alexander S. Kunz This is healing music. Favorite track: Siren.
Feral Phoenix
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Feral Phoenix so as usual this rules??? along with ms nandi's sheer skill & artistry the thing i've always loved about half waif is the unyielding heart of brutally honest emotional realism. the progression of half waif's past few album themes being "brain on fire" and "world unfortunately on fire also" to this album's quiet courage in examining relationships to self + others while struggling with solitude carries such an immense feeling of personal growth to it. thank you...
Guy Morant
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Guy Morant Lavender already was a great album, but The Caretaker seems tu set the bar still higher. I love the new single Ordinary Talks, and I'm confident that the other songs will be just as powerful.
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1.
Clouds Rest 02:19
Going nowhere fast now. Going nowhere fast now. I’ve been running uphill, Calm and focused, Dragging my hips in the wind, Swollen with promise. Frustrated in my body. Frustrated in my body. Going nowhere fast now. Going nowhere fast now. I’ve been running uphill And still no view. Try to keep it in mind To be kind to My only one body. My only one body.
2.
Siren 03:15
I’m gonna be your fire, I’m gonna light it all night long. And I’m gonna be your siren, Now there’s no turning me off. And I’ll be the one To take on the burn. When I get uninspired, I’m gonna write you into my song. And I’m gonna be your siren, Let ‘em know what I came here for. And I’ll be the one To take on the burn. I meant what I told you: It’s different now, your pain is mine to know. Let me hold you. I’ll say it again: when Your faith is lost, My love for you is iron. Let me show you. And I’ll be the one To take on the burn.
3.
Baby don’t worry about me, I don’t worry about you. I’ve got places in my mind That I’ll never find If you’re holding my hand Like you always do. Baby when I’m feeling low You don’t need to repair me. I know myself well When I’m in this hell: It’s part of the process, It doesn’t scare me. Feelin ill, I feel it all a little more. Baby when the world has turned away I know I’m gonna need you. But I’ve got places in my mind That I’ll never find If you’re holding my hand like I wanted you to. Feelin ill, I feel it all a little more. Sitting in the dark, Dreaming up a song, Crying in my coffee, Doing it all wrong. Everybody knows, it’s Ordinary talk. Walking to the lake, Getting in my car, Folding up the laundry, Takin it too hard. Everybody knows it’s How we fall apart. Singin at the stars, Fumblin for my light, Laughin at the TV, Doin all right. Everybody knows it’s Only for the night. Baby don’t worry about me, I don’t worry about you.
4.
My Best Self 03:04
He finds me counting quarters at the table, Says, “I’m off to the lake, I’ll be back when I’m able.” He moves like liquid out of the kitchen. I find myself thinkin, I’m not going to disappoint you. Be the one you wanna be. See how you want to be seen. Feel the love of who you’re with, Even if you’re all you need. Who’ll be witness to my story? So ordinary, It could be anybody. My tender layer is wearing so thin. Is it brittle below? Or tender again? Be the one you wanna be. See how you want to be seen . Feel the love of who you’re with, Even if you’re all you need. Be the one you wanna be. See how you want to be seen. Feel the love of who you’re with, Be the one you wanna be. When the house is torn down, When the land fills up with weeds, Will you still remember Everything you thought you’d be? When the day is over And the memory’s what you grieve, Be the one you wanna. Be the one you wanna.
5.
In August 03:45
In August, If I’m honest, We were on each other’s team. Then autumn came With all it’s fade. I wonder how you’ve been. Oh I have lost your friendship. What does that say about me? Don’t look back now. Am I meant to find Some strength in me, Hidden where I’ll never see it? Is it obvious? And if I can own Up to what I’ve done, Then I’ll get it together. Will you follow? In April, I felt capable. I didn’t need you here. Eclipsed back into summer: God, how has it been a year? I could go out walking But I don’t want to leave my room. You’ve broken your promise, What does that say about you? Am I meant to find Some strength in me, Hidden where I’ll never see it? Is it obvious? And if I can own Up to what I’ve done, Then I’ll get it together. Will you follow? Don’t look back now.
6.
Lapsing 02:39
7.
Halogen 2 02:18
Check the footprints in the yard For any sign of life. Straight shot into the woods: It’s mine and mine and mine, With the train running beside. Winter came again, Throttled me like halogen. You left to see the world, I told you I’d be fine. It’s time to go inside. Don’t misunderstand: I do what I must. Check my phone to see the time, Or any sign of life. Why am I so afraid? These are my brightest days. It’s time to go inside. I asked for a moment. I cannot hold it. It’s so inappropriate. You were right to leave me here. Why am I so afraid? Don’t misunderstand: I do what I must. Don’t misunderstand: I do what I must. Holding out a hand, Folding into my chest: I’m doing my best. Don’t misunderstand: I do what I must.
8.
Blinking light, you’ve come too soon, Caught me blowing smoke up at the moon. Give me til the end of June, I’m not ready to be reminded. Blinking light in the black hills: If this doesn’t change me, nothing will. But give me til the end of June. I’ll be better with the weather. I’ll be better whether or not I mean to. Messages are left unread. I watch the glowing light at its dying breath. I cannot take back what I’ve said So I’m taking my words with me, Buried deep within the walls of my body. I know what you’re thinking: I’m circling the drain. But my wings won’t be pinned down To the board of this day. I burn for tomorrow, And I’ll give it all I’ve got, I’ll be better for ya. At least I’m giving it a shot. I’ll give it all I’ve got.
9.
Brace 03:37
Trying to climb out, Your body is a shield Armored against me. Find out what you really mean. I see you walking in your town With your head down. You always wore that place Like a brace. Does it stop you From breaking? Annie, why are you still beating yourself up? It happens all the time. Annie, why have you gone closing all your doors Before I close mine? You left a light on. I saw a moth was dead That summer morning. Find out where you really went. I see you in the kitchen Making breakfast, Not saying a word as you stir. I come up beside you, Put a hand upon the burn. Annie, why are you still beating yourself up? It happens all the time. Annie, why have you gone closing all your doors? I haven’t closed mine. Annie, I’m awake on the other side of the wall But I cannot hear your mind.
10.
Generation 02:50
I’m bidding goodbye to my 29th year And a body that’s full of thorns. Here’s to corners I’ve turned and levels I’ve cleared - I couldn’t have done it before. And the rumors are true: I am changing my name, Though I remain close to my kin. One form in the storm, battling on: I am my own generation. And I’m learning to love the woman in me ‘Cause she knows how to love all of you. Darling of my delicate mind: Someday I hope that I do. I tried to dry my tears outside. I forgot it’s a season of rain. Shouting at clouds: I’ve done enough now And I’m coming home to myself.
11.
Window Place 03:34
My life is like a window: I keep it clean. I like to watch the sun Going down on me. And there’s the morning star, And it guides me to places I know in my heart. It’s gonna be a real long winter Waiting for me. When it gets dark, I know where I’ll be: In the arms of summer Drunk with the heat, Kickin up dust, Be what I’ll be. My life is like a window: The view is changed. I can never leave the building But it’s home all the same. And I see the sweetest light, And it’s hard to believe but I’m finding my way. It’s gonna be a real long winter Waiting for me. When it gets dark, I know where I’ll be: In the arms of summer Drunk with the heat, Kickin up dust, Sweat on the sheets. In the arms of summer, I’ll be the one that you want. In the arms of summer, Ready to rest. I love you most. I love you best.

credits

released March 27, 2020

Written and arranged by Nandi Rose
Produced by Nandi Rose and David Tolomei
Mixed by David Tolomei
Mastered by Heba Kadry

Vocals, keys, and electronic percussion: Nandi Rose
Violin: Elena Moon Park and Kyla Rose Smith
Flute and bass clarinet: Izaak Mills
Vintage synth programming: Jay Wires
Electric and upright bass: Spencer Zahn
Bowed bass on Generation: Oli Hayhurst
Guitar: Adan Carlo
Live drum samples and additional electronic percussion: Zack Levine
Auxiliary percussion: Mauro Refosco

Art direction by Nandi Rose
Photography and back cover by Brian Vu
Hair and make-up by Dana Akashi
Illustrations by Nuria Riaza
Layout by Trevor Hernandez

Love and gratitude to my ancestors
To my family
To David Tolomei
To Andi Wilson, Jordan Michael Iannucci, Bryan Christner, Andy Kaulkin and the whole team at ANTI
To Paul Antonell, Shubham Mondal, Rainer Reeves Cohen, Oliver the lion-dog, and the rest of the Clubhouse crew
To Jay Wires at Synth Sanctuary
To Vicki Bonnington and Tabitha Rasmussen

To Joni, for showing me the way
And to my husband, Zack Levine
My love for you is iron.

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Half Waif New York

Half Waif is the musical home of singer / songwriter / producer Nandi Rose.

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