1. |
Fabric
01:14
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have i forgotten how to be alone? i blame you:
your colors in my mood,
your body in my room.
to be a bird and tuck my head into my feathered neck, watch all the world turn black, wish i could live like that.
but you keep breaking me apart. you keep making me a part.
and i’m too tired to fight
your fabric in my heart.
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2. |
Swimmer
03:08
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the way your arm felt under the soft felt
of the blanket -
you may not know it but i am loving you. with my fingers
on your shoulders, i am loving you.
i wanted to sing for you
so i’m gonna sing for you.
i hope you’re listening to me wherever you are.
come a little closer,
give me something i can hold.
i wanna know
they can’t take this away from me.
and i knew you
when you were swimming. you were stronger
than i ever was.
and i am loving you.
i wanted to sing for you so i’m gonna sing for you.
come a little closer,
give me something i can hold.
i wanna know
they can’t take this away from me.
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3. |
Take Away The Ache
03:29
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take away the ache.
i lie awake in the morning,
before the thoughts start forming, getting in my own way.
nobody’s gonna save me
and i’ll be disappointed.
are your eyes yet open
while you’re facing the other way?
and i know that i’m asking for more than you can give,
but isn’t love just living like that?
take away the ache,
make it over, make it an ember. we could keep each other warm, but only if we don’t remember.
or turn it into dust, apparently it’s just a powder. it rises and it bursts
and i feel it like i wanna.
and i know that i’m asking for more than you can give,
isn’t love just living like that?
i’ll follow wherever you like.
oh it happens all the time.
the more you love, the more you lie. say you’re not going anywhere.
i’ll follow wherever you like.
oh it happens all the time.
the more you love, the more you lie.
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4. |
Fortress
03:24
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holding on til i lose my right. i thought of you again
in the middle of the night.
in the middle of the night.
i guess this is all for you. my bet is, it’s all for you.
and i’m ruined to the universe
cause it knows what hurts.
feeling so concerned—
i’ll be broken if you never come back home.
broken into my fortress. forever on the mattress in the middle of the night in the middle of the night.
i’m not gonna make this hard for you. is there any other way?
i’m gonna play this part for you.
i guess this is all for you. my bet is, it’s all for you.
and i’m ruined to the universe
cause it knows what hurts.
feeling so concerned—
i’ll be broken if you never come back home.
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5. |
The Apartment
02:38
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i wanna see you smile
enough for the both of us.
forget what i said last night,
it doesn’t matter if you’re trying to change.
honestly i’ve been
caught in the middle
since i was a child.
now i’ve taken up cigarettes and i hate what it’s made me, lit up like a target
outside the apartment,
like i’m fucking performing my need.
i wanna see you try
enough for the both of us.
i can’t understand your mind
but it doesn’t matter if you’re trying to change.
lately i’ve been
blowing out candles.
don’t know how to handle it,
so i’ve taken to waking up
in the early morning,
listenin to the silence,
and sometimes the sirens,
like i’m always living in my dreams.
oh i wanna see you i wanna see you
i wanna see you try.
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6. |
Sourdough
02:59
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i would stare at the sun
if it’d help the ones i love. though i’d burn in my skull,
i would smile to see them well.
i’ve got this weight in my lungs.
and i would share my own blood if it’d help the ones i love. though i’d shrivel like a plum,
i would smile to see them grow.
i’ve got this weight in my lungs from filling ‘em up.
i’m driving away
from my father’s house on a beautiful day
and there’s no one out. i’m running from you,
i am running from me, i am running from you, from you.
so i make sourdough on the counter like he showed me.
though i taste his loneliness in the crust of every loaf.
i’ve got this weight in my mouth but i’m keepin it down
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7. |
Party's Over
03:23
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outside the party,
i’m in over my head.
i wasn’t invited.
i wander the streets alone instead.
don’t you know that the party’s o- don’t you know that the party’s over but you’re just getting started?
oh, just keep walking.
and you’re never gonna give it up.
and you’re gonna have to make it through the night without stopping.
just keep walking.
after the party,
i’m in for something new.
i haven’t decided,
but i know that what i choose is not for you.
i wish they could see me now. i wish i had known it then.
i wish i could tell myself
“don’t do it for anyone else.”
don’t you know that the party’s o- don’t you know that the party’s over but you’re just getting started?
oh, just keep walking.
and you’re never gonna give it up.
and you’re gonna have to make it through the night without stopping.
just keep walking.
nobody’s gonna do it my way. nobody’s gonna do it my way.
so i walk through the dawn and i don’t look back anymore.
now that the party’s o-
now that the party’s over,
yeah, we’re just getting started.
oh, just keep walking.
and we’re never gonna give it up.
and we know we’re gonna make it through the night without stopping.
we just keep walking.
just keep walking.
just keep walking.
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8. |
Horse Racing
03:40
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i don’t wanna make you nervous,
but it’s right under the surface:
while you look at your reflection,
you’re just falling away from everything. can’t you see i’m holding,
can’t you see i’m holding out?
and i’m not trying to make you nervous but i think that we deserve this.
horse racing:
wear me down until the muscle is thin.
look out, another body coming around the bend. forget it, we’re never gonna make it to the end. no, no, no.
we’ve been hiding in our habits.
what did we think was gonna happen? someone else is always worse off.
we’re just finding our way, finding our way. can’t you see i’m holding,
i can’t believe i’m holding out.
and i’m not trying to make you nervous but i think that we deserve this.
horse racing:
wear me down until the muscle is thin.
look out, another body coming around the bend. forget it, we’re never gonna make it to the end. no, no, no.
and the hardest part
is telling myself i don’t already know it’s been falling apart
since the day we started.
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9. |
Orange Blossoms
03:44
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somebody buy me roses.
somebody make sure i get out of bed today. somebody be my baby.
somebody see that i don’t get in my own way. somebody hold my head up.
somebody hope that i don’t give up, not this time. somebody check my email.
somebody just give me the damn highlights.
i don’t wanna be here.
how’m i supposed to be healed? i don’t wanna be here,
staring at the wall again.
somebody hold me hostage.
somebody make me think i might be worth something. somebody take a photo.
somehow i know i won’t be remembering.
somebody be my angel.
somebody change the angle i see all the time. somebody fast forward.
somebody just give me the damn highlights.
i don’t wanna be here.
how’m i supposed to be healed? everybody goes home
and the way there is not clear.
i don’t wanna be here.
how’m i supposed to be healed? everybody grows up
and leaves me in the tower. drinking from the bottle, knowing what it does to me. seeing every color
sliding into shadow.
while i can,
i will carry my own bags. and i will call my father when i know that he’s alone.
and i will plant a plot
of yellow flowers.
they’ll be a sign
to whichever one of us survives.
and when i see the ghost of orange blossoms
in the snow,
i’ll know it was you.
and i’m coming soon.
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10. |
Midnight Asks
03:31
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midnight asks me to be what i’m not.
have i already forgotten?
you were in your swimsuit, wearing one yellow sock, your mind full of worms.
and i wonder if mine is not.
midnight asks me to get out of bed,
take the lowlit road to the trailhead,
strip the clothes from my body, run naked til i am spent. always thought things’d change. now i wonder
if they did.
how many, how many times have i wandered?
how many, how many drives have i made through the dark? how many, how many times... eyes on the sides of the road. i don’t wanna die tonight.
midnight comes and i’m ready to fight. reach my hand towards the table
but there’s no light.
so i’m crawling in the kitchen, listening for some kind of sign.
i believe it gets better
but who am i to think that i’m right?
how many, how many times have i wandered?
how many, how many drives have i made through the dark? how many, how many times... eyes on the sides of the road. i don’t wanna die tonight.
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11. |
Sodium & Cigarettes
03:12
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sodium & cigarettes:
i’m a mess in every respect.
do i deserve what’s coming to me?
i was holding my breath every hour of the day, wishing you would come back,
knowing you won’t stay.
but i believe in something more
ok, give it another day.
i’ll see you in the morning.
it’s too late now to start taking it back so i better be looking forward.
sodium & cigarettes:
i made a bed, now i lie in it. no one’s gonna do it for me.
i was holding my breath every hour of the day, wishing you would call up,
knowing what you’d say.
but i believe in something more
ok, give it another day.
i’ll see you in the morning.
it’s too late now to start taking it back so i better be looking forward.
in my dreams, we were flying.
now we’re falling back.
is it too late now to start running?
in my dreams, we were flying.
now we’re falling back.
and it’s too late now to start running.
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12. |
Powder
02:24
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the powder
of the crushed earth...
can you see it from where you are?
the meteor is like a lit cigar.
when the moment comes,
think i overreact
cause nothing will change from looking up. the meteor is just a lifted star.
and i am standing far back from where
we watched when i was younger.
the living room is black,
the house is gone.
a vacant lot,
a little scar.
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Half Waif New York
Half Waif is the musical home of singer / songwriter / producer Nandi Rose.
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